October 29th, 2005
Saturday: the day for important reflection. Apparently.

I just read this quote from Angie Harmon talking about Manolo Blahnik shoes: "I could be having the worst day and all I have to do is go into my closet and look at his shoes and I feel great." That's really weird. Isn't that a very strange thing to feel? I mean I'm a girl, and I like shoes fine. Some of them are very cute. But when my cat died I didn't throw open my closet doors take a look at a pair of shoes and feel a sense of calm wash over me. Or let's take a less extreme example. Let's say some asshole at Apple was rude to me (in theory). I'm not going to feel better by going in my closet and staring at some shoes. I think this is the same reason I hate Sex and the City. It annoys me that I as a woman am supposed to relate to that comment. Of course I as a woman still shop at a store for teenage girls so I may have a different set of problems than the average woman.
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October 29th, 2005

Calvin and Hobbes is the only comic strip as an adult that I ever loved. This article made me love it even more. The guy pulled a Salinger! He just disappeared and went to live his life. He's painting in a house in Cleveland somewhere. At the height of Calvin and Hobbes' popularity Speilberg called and Watterson (the creator) and he didn't even bother returning the call. He had no interest in doing anything other than the strip. No merchandising, nothing. It made me miss that adorable twosome.

Speaking of adorable twosomes, Oakley and Schwartz sleep together now. If it didn't take 1/2 hour to download the pictures I would be posting constantly. But don't worry kevhines, I promise to do it soon.
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October 28th, 2005

I have been sick for a week. I don't know if this happens to everyone but when I am sick I get punch drunk and think almost everything is funny. Even puns. I usually hate puns. Brett has been enjoying this as I have been hysterical with laughter for anything he says that is even remotely funny. But last night he told a punny joke and I rolled my eyes. "Uh oh." he said, "You're feeling better."
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October 27th, 2005

A few days ago Brett and I were driving downtown. We turned down a street and suddenly everything went from normal urban business environment to crack den. I am not kidding. It was the the most visceral experience I have had with drug users and the homeless, and this is after living in nyc for over 9 years where as awful as it is, they are part of the landscape in many areas. The images I saw were what I imagine people who are afraid of New York City imagine it to be like. It was the middle of the day and this crack den was out in the open. People were wandering down the block shooting up. The entire block was full of makeshift homes made out of blankets and scraps. The desperation was palpable. I don't know why it was different than seeing one or two addicts in union square whose "homes" I passed every day. It was something about the mass of people together living in the open like that. It was not easy to shake off, and I'm not sure I want to. Not because I am masochistic but because I feel like this is not something I am supposed to forget. I don't know what i can do about it, but i can't just pretend I didn't see that.
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October 26th, 2005
Micah P. Hinson the singer guy

A long time ago I went with the crazy girl from my acting class to see a play. I noticed that Tom Waits was sitting next to her. Against my better judgement I leaned over and whispered to her, "Tom Waits is sitting next to you." She looked over at him and without any self conciousness said, "Are you that singer guy?" He looked at her quickly and said, "Yes." It was very embarrassing even though I made sure he never saw my face by slinking very far into my seat.

Anyway, I have a new favorite singer guy. This entry may be confusing because Tom Waits has never been my favorite singer, although I like him and respect him greatly. I just wanted to use the phrase "singer guy." However the point of this story is to do yourself a favor and listen to Micah P. Hinson!


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October 24th, 2005

Rosa Parks died today. It's the last straw in a string of events (hurricanes, earthquakes, hurricanes, the Stones on Days of Our Lives) to make it official: God hates us.

I have looked up three times in the last few minutes to see Dr. Schwartz eating things from off the table. The only things on the table other than a glass of water are tiny pieces of paper and a thermometer. She does not have a discerning palate.
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October 22nd, 2005

Thanks to this article by the lead singer of the Mountain Goats I'm allowed to watch Days of Our Lives and still be a super cool lead singer of an indie rock band. I just have to learn how to write great music and all my hours watching days will be redeemed. I'm back to square one aren't I? Oh well, it was an encouraging three minutes.
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October 19th, 2005

This exchange just happened while sitting next to brett on the couch watching Laguna Beach. Me: “are you listening to this?” Him: “I’m trying not to.” Apparently it wasn’t working because a moment later after one of the characters asked another one what they were up to brett said, “thinking up ways to treat women poorly.” Aw, he was listening.


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October 18th, 2005
Holy crap.

I know I said this was going to happen before, but they just aired the new Rolling Stones video on Days of Our Lives. In the middle of the show they just showed an entire Rolling Stones video and acted like two of the characters were just watching it on television. I cannot even begin to discuss the lameitude of that. It is beyond description. Even if this was the best album they put out since Exhile on Mainstreet I would never know it because I am too repulsed by this marketing ploy. Don't they realize how unlikable this makes them? And I even watch Days of Our Lives! (I finally admitted it.) This is really a sad day in rock.
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October 17th, 2005
Yes.

I know what you've been thinking. You've asked yourself, "I know Natasha has one blog, but shouldn't she really embrace the fact that she procastinates in mind boggling amounts and get ANOTHER blog? And shouldn't that blog be devoted to discussing Oprah?" Well the answer to that question is no. No, I really shouldn't. But yes, yes I do. But it's not just me spending my time in this truly important way. Kate is doing it with me. In fact it was even her idea! So in conclusion, you're welcome.

BREAKING NEWS:

Rick Springfield is coming back to General Hospital.

No, when I was 8 this is not how I imagined my life would turn out.
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October 17th, 2005

Okay fine, I watch Days of Our Lives, and sometimes it's not just because it's the funniest show on television, but I did NOT ask to see someone spread chocolate cake on someone's mouth and then kiss them!! ew!!

As per kevhines request I will soon post pictures of schwartz and oakley lying on each other. I edited out the pictures where Oakley spread chocolate cake on Schwartz because for Goddsakes, they deserve their privacy.
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October 14th, 2005

In anticipation of the Squid and the Whale I am posting this courtesy of Liz.
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October 13th, 2005
The Squid and the Whale

I haven't been this excited for a movie since awaiting for the release of Bottle Rocket on video.

That is today's news.
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October 12th, 2005

The Rolling Stones are trying to contact me. Obvious much, Mick? But seriously, this is really weird. At least I'm just watching it because it's the funniest show on TV. What? I can stop anytime I want!
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October 12th, 2005

Yesterday I saw footage of Laura and George Bush building a house. I'm assuming it was for habitat for humanity although I couldn't stand to watch it for more than 2 seconds so I don't know. It infuriated me instantly how obvious a photo opp it was. How about you DON'T build houses and you just run the country in a non moronic, destructive, abominable way, huh, Bushy? Seriously, we can do with one less house if it means you won't kill our people, destroy our relationship with the rest of the world and start wars for no reason. Jeez, him and Sarah Jessica Parker really tick me off!

In other news, Dr. Marlena Evans Schwartz has lost almost all of her battles at kittenwar.com! What?! Who is cuter than that adorable face (besides Oakley and Starks)? And you thought I didn't have my priorities straight.
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October 10th, 2005

It has been long enough! You have waited too long people! I must now make the full transition into becoming a Cathy comic strip and post pictures of Dr. Marlena Evans Schwartz and her boyfriend, Oakley Jones. Enjoy as my personality evaporates completely.



























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October 7th, 2005

Laura and I saw Kirsten Dunst drinking coffee at a table outside with her friends today. Later when we were in Rite-Aid one of her friends was behind us. I said to Laura after we left, "One of her friends was behind us so I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about Kirsten Dunst when we were standing there." She said, "What would I say?" I said, "I don't know. Maybe, we sure did see Kirsten Dunst today!" Later Laura said she learned many things this morning and one of them was that it was clear that we love each other more than Kirsten Dunst loved her friends. I don't know how she knew that, but she's probably right.


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October 5th, 2005

I realize it is my fault for watching too much TV, but I heard two of the most ridiculous celebrity comments I have ever heard today. I swear I only had the Today show on for three seconds, but that's all it took! Elle McPherson was on talking about her lingerie line and she said, "I have been in love with lingerie since I was a little girl, so this is not just for financial gain." Um, ew? Was that a call for help? I think someone should get Elle a therapist, because that is just upsetting.

And then, dear God Sarah Jessica Parker was on Oprah. I really can't stand her. Why is she so obsessed with seeming REAL? It makes me want to smack her! We all know that you're a multimillionaire movie star, you're not JUST like us, so stop trying to act like you're so down to earth. "I eat onion rings and burgers and drink shakes all the time!" Okay! So what? Good for you! I feel like she wants me to say, "I wish I could eat all that crap and still be 4 pounds!" You know what, I do eat that crap and I don't want to look anorexic like you! Why am I so angry with her? I don't know. But God, when she was talking about the end of Sex and the City like the entire country was going to go into mourning and she was trying to help them come to grips with it I wanted to strangle her through the TV. Even if I didn't hate that show I think I would be annoyed with her. Anyway, her comment (the second stupid thing a celebrity said today)was, "I want to experience childbirth again." Yeah, RIGHT. Would you also like to have kidney stones? And get poked with needles? You're such a perfect version of the American woman! I wish I was you!!!!!!

I guess I should go do some yoga.
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October 4th, 2005
Did you ever notice...?

Okay whatever so I am derivative, but I have thoughts about artichokes and no one can stop me from saying them! It occurs to me that I don't like artichokes as much as I like salad dressing. Or butter. Or mayo. Or whatever I'm dipping it in. It has taken at least 30 years of my eating artichokes for me to realize that they have no taste! They taste like whatever dressing you put on them. What a discovery! And yet, would you put chocolate sauce on them? That sounds gross! But I bet it would taste just like chocolate sauce! Forgive me for being ahead of my time. Just know I don't have it all. It can get lonely knowing this much.

Are you listening to Goldspot? Why not? They're really good. At least I think so!
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October 3rd, 2005

I have decided that it's not that LA is full of more beautiful people in general than in NYC, it's that if you say, go to Ikea, you are more likely to run into a human being that was the initial design for the ideal of human beauty. So while in general people are just as good looking, you add these freaks of nature into the mix and suddenly you think Los Angeles is full of beautiful people. Either way you still have to go back to Ikea twice for a lamp that was broken before you got it home.

You may ask yourself, why all the posts Natasha? Are you writing three things at once and using your blog to avoid it? To which I would say, why are you calling yourself Natasha? And, yes.

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October 3rd, 2005
I hate to make this a cat journal but...

Oakley has clearly gone to the library checked out a copy of the Rules and used the information against Dr. Schwartz. This is what he does: he follows her around, meows for her all over until she shows up. When he knows where she is he just plants himself near her and looks at her lovingly from afar. When she then runs up to him he lets her sniff him for two seconds and then walks away. She then follows him around and he doesn't pay any attention to her. It's like, can you be more obvious? Also, why does that work? Oh dear God worse than a cat journal this just turned into a Cathy journal. Please forgive me, it won't happen again.
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